Struggling with Judicial court case

“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

This quote by Mahatma Gandhi, makes you believe that yes probably that's the way to go. But trust me, many times you do not come across such sober individuals whom you can reciprocate with 'Love' as they respond out of Ego, fear and do not trust you the same way like you do. So then the time comes to deal with them via the Judicial system. 

Here I am sharing my own experiences of dealing with a long, never ending court case that I filed in India, for a justice pertaining to my divorce petition. (It's been 5 AND HALF YEARS!)

Firstly I believe and trust in the "Marriage" as an institution and just hope no one has to go through what I am going...dealing with 'Divorce' is the most torturous thing that can ever happen with anyone. 

You get a varied reaction all throughout your life from people around you. Being a woman it gets more and more difficult and complex to deal with the so called "Reputation". People call names, that do not just relate with the "Pure" Saint, and clam individual that you are, all you do is keep quiet and move on.

For me it was a life lesson of dealing with one decision of getting married that I took many years back. Clearly I choose a wrong individual who was just not worth and definitely did not deserve an amazing individual like me. I could not understand my worth in the entire process and ended up loosing my own self, while supporting the career of my husband. Nurturing his dreams was the most dumb thing that I decided to stride by, and it just placed me into a deep dungeon from where I really struggled to discover my own-self and return to normalcy.

As if, someone left me in dark, solitude, and ran away from the scene when the needs were met!! I felt used and cheated and all I needed was a genuine confrontation by a well educated individual who holds a PHD degree! But you cannot judge other person's fear and guts, they can never match your's and so all I do is wait...wait for the right time, right moment in my life when this puzzle gets solved and I am free from this cage of injustice. 

Unfortunately there are wrong notions about Indian girls and 498A, these wrong presumptions, generalise decent and normal girls and human beings...I am not advocating or defending the girls/ women only...many times the guys family are right too. I just stand by those who are genuine and not cruel by nature. Who are straightforward, upfront and want to resolve matters by discussions! 

Influences, preconceived notions, listenings to others stories and experiences everything overrides what's important today and in your situation and current case!

In India the Judicial system works in a very tricky way - firstly I seriously feel it needs a digital transformation and an over haul, to expedite people from their troubles and get justice done.

Mostly it today works in a manual method where the Petitioner and Respondent needs to file in-person petition's. NRI's have found a way of filing an affidavit via the closest consulate, to get rid of this process and telling their senior citizen 'Power of attorney' holders (POA) (elderly parents) to represent in court. 

All that happens with this is, these NRI's get a very nice excuse of "Senior citizen" and hence don't end up attending any court dates. Then why to put such POA's to defend your self? :) what's the point, but our system allows it! It never expects the petitioner and respondent to appear in person, the loopholes, allow people to disregard and insult the judicial system, never turning up in a court case even once. This happened with me in my 5 n half years court journey when my NRI husband never came in court, in-person!

I feel there is a genuine need in society where while accepting petitions by both parties, government or court needs to start demanding in person application, proof of valid Passport, valid visa's, financial status - salary slips, income tax statements and property index II , health or medical status in case of petitions filed against it, from both parties to run a fair deal. 

Unfortunately that does not happen today. NRI's get away with submitting none of the documents, nor attending a single date in court. Never understood why and how is this allowed?

Then there is a process of counseling sessions where counsellors again do not resort to VC based conferencing and demanding both husband and wife to meet and discuss. There is no concept of reconciliation and counseling. Again I am not generalising but sharing my experiences here. There is a biased attitude shown and a wrong perception created by some people that starts questioning the genuineness of this process.

Then comes multiple delays by NRI where they keep mentioning the court, how genuinely a guy is deciding to visit India and meet and 2/ 3 or multiple  years go by with the same dialogs. In case of contesting cases where petitioner waits for cross examinations the lawyers delay starting the process or questioning the petitioner. NRI's resort to only 'DELAY IN CASE PROCEEDINGS' as a strategy, do they forget they are dealing with a life. A person and a human being. There is no other agenda and this is unfortunately permissible in India.

Several times when petitioner is genuinely asking NRI respondent to come and meet, they never ever turn up for any discussions! 'Mutual Consent' to Divorce I believe starts by coming together as friends, accepting the differences, respecting the decisions and happily parting ways and staying connected as genuine friends! 

The parties and lawyers try to stall the dates, delay the case proceeding, make you wait until you submit the evidences, even though you have hell lot of proofs and documentation. (1000+ pages) of factual proofs that you genuinely want to submit even that is stalled!It's not a real and just world. It's not a fair life and thinking about anyone's needs, dreams and mental and physical wellbeing does not even exist in the society!

They close and re-open cross proceedings after the case reaches the stage of 'Arguments' and it's already submitted...you go back to square one and begin again...this 'To & Fro' rat race of steps and judicial process - jumping back and forth, all the while when u patiently attend a court every genuine date for 5 1/2 years! :)

Then one fine day, NRI's mention via application that they want to resort to a 'VC' based cross and in the next couple of months they mention "How VC would affect and take a Toll on their health due to non-feasible timezones". 

After few months they want to submit more evidence and witness and they just give same excuse for another 6 and half months......and #More15days are asked for every now and then! 

But nothing happens, no evidence documents get submitted....even a single document!! 

Evidence is not closed and truthful people do not exist!! How do such Lawyers survive in our judicial system?Later a New excuse - "Chief of Affidavit" is not verified....:) This excuse comes after 2 years when some evidence was submitted? 

Do really the NRI's tell their lawyers back in India, DELAY THE CASE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! :) Is that how world works?

All I would urge anyone is to really think before you take a step to fall into the judicial rut! I know Justice exists, but the process, why is it such a taxing experience?

IT'S NOT A FAIR WORLD! PEOPLE DO NOT EXIST WITH GOOD AND GENUINE HEART! 

There is a need to bring a change the way the court cases work! 

I am a UX Designer by profession and if any legal authority or court in any state, needs to invest time to build a scalable system design to solve this issue and expedite the process of court cases and dealings, do get in touch with me!

I would definitely like to design a robust and user friendly system that would be intelligent to solve the complex process and track the genuineness of lawyers, delays and case proceedings. I am all in with multiple ideas to design a web and mobile experience to help and change some lives. I have heard complaints from Judges that they are helpless with 55 cases on-board and I am all ready to help design a great experience!

I have many ideas, which I would surely love to implement so please do get in touch!

Thanks for reading my ranting, but trust me "STAY AWAY FROM JUDICIAL SYSTEM IN INDIA" until a good system exists!